How do we get so f***ed up?

I titled this article How do we get f***cked up?, with the intention of presenting as tongue-in-cheek to make light of the reality that each and every person on this planet has something to deal with.


grief sadness depression

There is nothing wrong with us, moving through grief is simply navigating an experience in life.


It is not unusual to be oblivious to the emotional dents we carry. I believe we genuinely do not realise there is anything wrong until some life altering experience causes a metaphorical penny to drop; producing a chain reaction to seek answers or deeper meaning to life.  Now the process of getting to know ourselves begins by unraveling how we tick. Discovering what is innate to our personality and what we have learned. We become aware of the depth of our character and soul-searching ramps up.



Residue of grief or mourning over something which is broken or lost can cause emotional stress. Consider these examples:

  • loved ones
  • relationships
  • health
  • parenthood
  • trust
  • career
  • security
  • pets
  • confidence
  • innocence
  • esteem


depression, sadnessBy reaching the core, of where an issue started and acknowledging other events and experiences that hurt us or contributed to shutting down emotionally to avoid painful feelings we become aware. Then we can remove the metaphorical band-aids. which were placed over the emotional wound either by ourselves or well meaning practitioners is how we can be free from:

  • sadness
  • anxiety
  • guilt
  • depression
  • anger
  • bitterness
  • panic
  • humiliation
  • abandonment
  • rejection


I witnessed through many sessions that once we acknowledge our feelings and what triggered them, our psyche adjusts and naturally alters how it plays out in our behaviour.  Observing ourselves can be very difficult, though when admission of what we may have seen as flaws is owned, the sensation of liberation lifts an energetic weight off our shoulders.  We open up to liking who we are and embrace flaws as qualities, which make us feel like we are worthy as an individual.



obsessive thoughts jealousy These examples of behaviour are mechanisms we use to cover up our insecurities or avoid looking deeply at them:

  • obsessive thoughts
  • people pleasing
  • jealousy
  • promiscuity
  • control freak
  • clean freak
  • workaholic
  • paranoia
  • passive
  • negative self talk
  • aggressive





rejection depression

The tendency to involuntarily react, becomes apparent, hence likely to alter as we become more at peace with who we are. See these examples of reactive responses:

  • withdrawal
  • co-dependence
  • self-harm
  • sabotage
  • rescuer
  • controlling others and or situations
  • defensive outbursts
  • obsessive compulsive
  • putting ourselves down
  • apologising unnecessarily


Self-acceptance is a huge achievement in life.


I developed SoulLife™ Psychology, philosophy, methods and techniques to assist in overcoming any baggage to clear the way to being happier and content.

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