To introduce and follow through towards profound change, it is imperative that we look beyond the exterior. Any story that we tell, out loud or in our mind is merely a placeholder until we stop telling it. We only stop telling it when we’ve made peace with what happened.
Think about daily conversations when people share deep or mundane experiences. Like, what happened on the weekend; an argument with their sister; what happened to their friend; what they saw on television; they may be stories from long ago that you’ve heard or spoken of many times.
“She did that on purpose to make me…!”
“Dad used to…”
“My partner said …”
Even when these excerpts finish positive, they have invoked an emotional reaction from the person telling them which in turn affects their behaviour. I’ll give examples.
“My Dad used to sit me on his lap and read to me” – this memory might feel secure, loved or worthwhile.